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We’ve simply dealt with too many damn distractions over the past year. Politics. Climate change. Kids pestering you for a snack. And just two days after Microsoft tells us that the fundamental principle of Windows 11 is “calm,” another Microsoft designer tells us that Microsoft is going to spray spinning, twirling, animated emoji all over Windows and Teams.

I mean, what the heck, people? Does Microsoft even pay attention to what its own employees are doing?

Microsoft’s Claire Anderson, the “emojiologist” (sigh) for Microsoft, outlines the new emoji plan in a blog post today. More than 1,800 new emoji exist within the Microsoft ecosystem, and the company is redesigning each with “uplifting and inspiring” designs, and “bright, saturated colors and bold forms.” Microsoft even sandbagged us all, promising that they would replace the “paperclip” icon with Clippy if we liked the company’s tweet. (Well played.) Microsoft says that the new emoji are coming to Flipgrid today, and that’s fine. But they’re arriving on Teams and Windows this holiday season, and I’m really not okay with that. 

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